The father-daughter relationship is a special one but that doesn't always guarantee clear communication. Even as a ‘grown up’ daughter you might feel there are times you don't quite ‘get’ him. He's a bit of a conundrum and you'd like to be closer, but how?
A good starting point is getting clued-up on the things he says that have deeper meanings. Here's a guide to some classic father-phrases. Fear not, you'll soon be deciphering the code he speaks in:
Your father says: Is he really your type? His words decoded: He's not worried about his type being perfectly matched to your type. Oh no, his message is plain and simple - this guy isn't good enough for you! In his fatherly wisdom he knows if he says that out right you might dig your heels in and get more serious with this guy to prove he's wrong. But by questioning a potential personality clash your dad hopes you'll start questioning your feelings towards this boyfriend.
Your father says: Do you really need all that make-up on your face? His words decoded: This is not about the type or the colour of make-up you wear, the subtext is actually that he feels you're growing up too fast. Even if you're in your mid-20s or beyond, deep down he finds it hard to accept you have already grown up. Let him know in subtle ways that you still need him by asking his advice from time to time.
Your father says: Let's see what your mother says
His words decoded: Okay, so you're thinking he's suddenly gone all 'new-man' and feels she should be included in every discussion. In actual fact this signals that he's stuck with whatever issue you're talking about. He genuinely wants to know what she would say but he doesn't really want to confess that he's not sure how to advise you.
Your father says: You look lovely in that
His words decoded: When he says this it means that the outfit you're wearing wouldn't be one you'd wear to seduce a man in! Undoubtedly you've chosen something fairly conservative - and probably covered up - and that suits his fatherly eye perfectly. Unless you have that rare beast - a trendy father - you wouldn't go to him for fashion advice. So when he's complimentary of your outfit it signals you look dressed for a Buckingham Palace garden party.
Your father says: Your mum and I are having difficulties
His words decoded: Oh dear, things must be pretty darn tense between them for him to say something like this. The vast majority of fathers would never hint at troubles with your mum unless they were quite serious. Definitely highlight the good things you see in them as a couple and urge him to be loving and kind to your mum while they sort things out.
Your father says: Your room is always here (after you've moved out)
His words decoded: He misses you very much and although he doesn't want to be a pain-in-the-proverbial or a burden to you he finds it hard not to let you know. Instead he says something that outwardly sounds fairly practical - that there will always be a roof over your pretty little head if you need it.
Your father says: Go on, make it up with your sister/brother
His words decoded: Take this as a compliment and his faith in you as a mature person. Because this phrase signals that he thinks you have the wherewithal, inner strength, etc, to build bridges with the sibling you've fallen out with.
Your father says: Do you need a hand with that?
His words decoded: As you struggle with setting up a new laptop, he'd like more than anything to be able to do it for you. He offers in the hopes you'll say yes, you do need a hand. Fathers can feel redundant even though at one level they know you're now a grown woman with your own technology to sort out.
Your father says: I was a young man once and I know what they're thinking
His words decoded: Yes, it's very hard to imagine that your father was once young, single and pursuing women. But he was, and he really, REALLY wants you to listen to this one... that the majority of young men are after what they can get from you in bed.
Your father says: You need building up His words decoded: By a woman's standard you're probably absolutely fine (after all women are guilty of thinking being on the thin side is great) but by a father's standards you're probably too thin. He'll say this even if you simply look a bit worn out because despite you being an independent woman if you're not 100% fit he'll worry inwardly about your wellbeing - surprisingly as much as your mum would.
Give him a hug, tell him you're OK and have a happy Father's Day with him!
Source: MSN
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