Elizabeth Halsey (Cameron Diaz) is more than just a bad teacher, she's terrible. She manipulates men with sex (or the prospect thereof) she manipulates women with phony friendships, she drinks (at school!), she smokes cigarettes (and weed! At school!), she drives fast, is irresponsible, swears, steals, ignores her students, cheats, lies and she doesn't seem remorseful in the slightest.
All she really wants to do is find a man that can support her regular spending sprees and alcohol consumption. It's the American dream! Sadly though, Elizabeth is stuck teaching until she can save up and/or embezzle enough money to get some fake boobs, because she thinks that's what one needs to find a man who will provide for her.
I guess you could say she's superficial and materialistic.
Cue Scott Delacorte (Justin Timberlake), who bounds on in wearing preppy clothes and a Jaeger-LeCoultre watch. Elizabeth can smell the money from around the corridor so she starts playing nice, but, oh no! Seemingly Scott only likes big breasted ladies (we know this because we see his phone's wallpaper) so now Elizabeth needs to fast-track her surgery so that she can get some of his family's money, be happy and have a man that will provide for her, before it's too late. (It's also important to note that Justin's acting is so bad that I actually thought he was acting badly and that there would be a twist like, 'It's a fake watch! I don't really have family money, I live in my car!' but that never happens.)
Elizabeth's been scraping along doing the bare minimum, letting the kiddies watch Dangerous Minds while she dims the lights and takes a nap, but that all ends when she discovers there's a bonus for the Best Teacher in the Entire County. Finally, she can get the boobs she always wanted!
It's deep.
Naturally, there's a more sensitive teacher (Jason Segel) on staff who thinks Scott's a Dbag and Elizabeth's perfect the way she is, only she won't give him the time of day because he is a poor teacher with a paunch and he lives with dogs.
I'm fairly certain this film was never intended to rival Shakespeare, but still... The acting is pretty bad from most (not you, Jason Segel!) and the story is about as complicated as the easiest thing on the planet. Having said that: there are some funny lines, and also a really fun appearance from Modern Family's Eric Stonestreet.
- Two stars
The Vine
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