I once read a study that suggested one of the reasons women enjoy consuming pornography less than men do is because they tend to focus on, and get frustrated by, the minor details of what the actors and actresses are wearing - bad gel nails, cheap weaves, plastic stripper shoes, polyester suits - and miss out on watching the actual action entirely.
Having just seen these shots from Hustler's new Lady Gaga parody porno, I can completely empathise. I may have found Gaga disappointing of late, but compared to her erotic alter ego, she's practically Tilda Swinton.
Because this is pornography, the cheap wigs and bad acrylics are to be expected, but what's less than acceptable is the dime-store take on man style dressing rendered in the most budget plastic satin they could find, the preponderance of pleather, and the bought-from-the-chemist eyewear.
And then there are the shoes... Don't even get me started on the shoes. Payless to the core, they have the sexual appeal of... actually, I can't think of anything with comparably low sex appeal to a pair of three inch high, beige, grandmother pumps rendered in faux-leather so cheap you can practically see the polymers.
I do appreciate the addition of a single googley eye on the chin of Lady Guuuh-AHHH though, at least someone in makeup has a sense of humour.
Given this film was made on such a budget that they couldn't afford to hire someone to come up with a funny title (it's called This Ain't Lady Gaga XXX, natch), I suppose a proper wardrobing department, but it begs the question, if you can't dress your porn star half as provocatively as the original, why bother making the film at all? Unless of course, unlike the real thing, this one does have a penis...
The Vine
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