Celebrity cougars ... Demi Moore leading the pack with her husband, Ashton Kutcher. Photo: Getty ImagesOlder men have been doing it for centuries without raising an eyebrow. You know the type: bloated, over-tanned and usually photographed on a yacht somewhere in the Riviera rubbing a much younger, bikini-clad babe's back. Think Jack Nicholson, Silvio Berlusconi or Hugh Hefner.
But now mature female celebrities are getting in on the act. Flick through the latest trashies and you are just as likely to spot a bikini-clad female having her back rubbed by a younger toy boy.
Think of Madonna, 52, embracing her latest love, back-up dancer Brahim Zaibat, 24, or an ever-youthful Kylie Minogue, 43, hand-in-hand with super-hot Spaniard Andres Velencoso – a decade her junior.
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And Delta Goodrem is only 26 but dating Nick Jonas, 18, qualifies her as a cougar-in-training or, to use the latest term, a "cheetah".The idea of "cougars" – females in their 40s and 50s who prefer to hunt, rather than be hunted – is being reinvented. Women are refusing to be judged on the age differences in their relationships while, at the same time, younger men seem to be the ones going in for the kill.
The son of director Barry Levinson, Sam Levinson, told New York's Daily News his lover, Ellen Barkin (who, at 57, is 31 years older than he), was "beautiful and intelligent and we live creatively together".
The ultimate older woman, Twitter-friendly septuagenarian Joan Collins, 78, manages to not only keep up with but steamroll ahead of her 32-year-younger hubby, Percy Gibson, 46. She quips: "I've always felt age shouldn't be a chronological issue."
When Demi Moore, now 48, hooked up with "it" boy Ashton Kutcher, now 33, single mums everywhere silently high-fived the actress. When Kutcher started gushing about his love for her, his penchant for leaving Post-it love notes around the house and started talking in fatherly tones about her daughters – and sealed the deal with a ring – he proved what older men have known for decades: experience, confidence and wisdom is everything. "She wanted me but she didn't need me," Kutcher has said of the initial attraction.
The author of Cougar: A Guide for Older Women Dating Younger Men, Valerie Gibson, says times are definitely changing.
"She's the new breed of single, older woman – confident, sophisticated, desirable and sexy," Gibson writes. "She knows exactly what she wants. What she wants is younger men and lots of great sex.
"What she doesn't want is children, cohabitation or commitment. It's an irresistible combination for younger men who are more than willing to meet these sleek and sexy single women."
It's a local trend, too. Inspired by celebrities such as Megan Gale, 36, who is dating 23-year-old footballer Shaun Hampson, and Collette Dinnigan, 45, who said "I do" recently to Bradley Cocks, 34, Australian women are reworking the cougar stereotype.
Of more than 1000 Australian women who responded to a survey in Prevention magazine last year, 37 per cent said they were attracted to a younger man because of his good looks and 29 per cent said they liked them young because they had more energy and stamina. And 55 per cent of Australian women have dated a younger man, showing how acceptable dating down has become.
The editor of Prevention, Natalie Filatoff, says women today are more likely than ever to be perceived as ageless.
"I think people in general dress and present themselves much more according to how they feel than to any particular age," she says. "That means our energy, intelligence and sense of humour become more obvious than our age."
Psychotherapist Jackie Furey says the public perception of a cougar is changing. The Prevention survey shows 61 per cent of women believe the image of the cougar is harmless – and Furey agrees.
She believes age isn't the issue, as long as the people in the relationship are having their needs met.
So what are the downsides? Being at a different stage in your life can be a problem, Furey says. Procreation stands out as a potential problem. Mariah Carey, 41, and Nick Cannon, 30, had twins but not every couple is so lucky. Kutcher and Moore have made no secret of their desire for babies, while Hugh Jackman, 42, and Deborra-Lee Furness, 56, went for adoption to create their brood.
"What women need to be careful of is that any relationship after a two-year period enters a more stabilised way of being together – that's when the age gap becomes apparent," Furey says. "Most women, if they are being honest, would be concerned when they are 60 and going through menopause and they are with a 45-year-old man.
"But any relationship in which both people are understanding of what it gives rather than what it takes has a strong success rate."
